Start your MOtors!

Howdy folks,

Well it’s the first of November (even though the date of the post says the 31st Oct – it’s run on a different time zone), the start of which is commonly known as Movember. The month dedicated to men’s health, particularly focusing on prostate cancer and depression. Each year 3,300 men in Australia will die from prostate cancer and one in eight suffers from depression.

So along with all the other fine men at my work I have dedicated my upper lip to the cause. If you don’t know about Movember, it’s where you start the month clean shaven and then groom yourself an amozing moustache for the whole month. You then get people to jump on board and sponsor your moustache, in the process raising funds and awareness for men’s health research, educational and support programs.

I started the day clean shaven which is quite a drastic measure as I haven’t been clean shaven in a couple of years, well actually for Antarctica I was, but the past few years I resembled the photo above taken last year with a Thai pussy (photo taken whilst living in Thailand). The photo below is what I look like clean shaven this morning. And if you’re thinking what I’m thinking you’re probably thinking that I shouldn’t shave as I resemble a pubescent teenage Italian wannabe porn star named Fabio whose mother did too much acid while he was in the womb –

Yesterday I started up my Movember donation page, but then realised I’m getting pretty greedy these days asking for donations; men’s health, bicycles for impoverished Africans, save the Happa fund. Crikey, it’s a cut throat competitive market, everyone wanting your money that you spend on yourself! I felt a little guilty donating to my Movember site when I still hadn’t donated to my expedition charity Bicycles for Humanity, especially when I’m planning on donating a couple of thousand $ for the sea container. So I put my first instalment of $300 towards the container, and then a little $30 donation towards Movember, I never knew donating would be so darn stressful!

But at the end of the day it all pumps up the Karma account, sharing’s caring! I don’t want to steal Movember’s thunder, but hey if you want to donate to my expedition charity Bicycles for Humanity then go here, we have currently raised $1861.95 of the $12,000 container transportation costs. Thanks to everyone who has donated thus far.

If you want to support my mo and Men’s health then go to my Movember page. I had a warm up run for the mo at an ‘All things American’ fancy dress party I went to in the weekend as Magnum PI, (towards the end of the night I ended up wearing a Mandy’s Dorothy wig from the Wizard of OZ). It’s time for me to get out of the spot light, put my moisturiser and tissues away and let some other people on stage. Heres some photos from the “All things American’ party of other people that aren’t named Hap.

Linnley dressed as Mandy and Mandy dressed as Dorothy – ummm, that could get me in trouble after a couple of beers.

Fat Frank the loud American tourist from Florida

Madonna, Jersey Shore boy and Burlesque dancer

Snow white and Yellow taxi

Cheese Burrito and American Physco

George Washington and Magnum PI (Ohhh let me back in the spot light)

Superman and the Statue of Liberty

The Amish

George Bush

 

My favourite photo – Chiz with his hairy hands getting busted checking out Superman’s crotch!

 

 

 

 

Somebody needs a hug (WARNING: contains explicit language)

Usually people that I don’t know email me or leave a comment on my blog, the majority of which are supportive. But last week I received the comment below. I couldn’t help but laugh whilst reading it, it was so full of hate and anger that I feared for the life of his persons cat, this person who calls themself mean mother f. The comment was left on my New Zealand accident page, the page I wrote at the end of 2007 when I found myself deported from the States (where Mandy was) and restricted to being horizontal after falling 5 metres impacting on my spine, leaving me with a compression fracture of one of my vertebrae (this is when the violin kicks in). Let’s just say I wasn’t in the chirpiest of moods, but if you think I wasn’t in the chirpiest of moods read mean mother f’s comment (I started to put * in bad words that flagged it):

this guy is a f**king stoopid ass f*g! he looked like a dummy in a bag,on that stoopid strecther! and ever dumber the heli was airlifting his dead body,and that also looked retarded! how bout getting him inside the stupid chopper? duhhhh…and this fag(bum) is like getting deported out of like 6 countries and jailed everywhere,for being a dumb ass hippie homo..patheitc! what a looooser.stay out of the states u dumb hippy faggot, f**k,and go back to your own loser fag country,and get on new zealand welfare..u damn d*cksucker! this guy is a professional f**king vicitim! some people are better off dead…for god’s sake.cut off your fag dreadlocks,get a haircut and a job u whiny little bitch. oh yeah,and could someone be critically injured by falling 5 meters?? what a pussy fag! he prob wanted someone to feel sorry for his dumb ass,and get a free b*owjob in the fag hospital.this guy is so weak..no wonder the u.s.immigration wouldnt let his mangy looking ass into the states..f*cking fag!
f**k off.go die hippie rebel! maybe they’ll bury his rotten corpse on sum fag mountain  in new zealand..here lies willy wanker,cause of death stupidity.

HA,this is the LAMEST story i have ever wasted even 1 min to read on the freakin’ net. i hope more ppl bag on him,and make fun of him.this dude’s a  loser 4 real.

oh well…!

OK, since mean mother f took the time out of his day to comment it’s only fair I take the time out of mine to personally reply.

this guy is a f**king stoopid ass f*g!

That’s a bit rough mate, insulting gay men. I actually have a girlfriend so you will have to change that to a stupid ass hetrosexual.

he looked like a dummy in a bag,on that stoopid strecther! and ever dumber the heli was airlifting his dead body,and that also looked retarded! how bout getting him inside the stupid chopper? duhhhh…

Sorry, I will try and look better next time, I wasn’t really thinking about how I looked at the time, I was trying get my head around the fact that there was a good chance I wouldn’t walk again (although that sounds a bit stupid now that I’m walking, and even running). I will also pass on your advice to the rescue crew on how to air lift a spinal victim. Which by the way, the reason I was outside the heli (helicopter) was because they were unable to land it in the dense bush due to the things on top of the helicopter called rotors (I assume you already know this). The only way they could get to me was to winch me up and then into the helicopter (I’m pictured below in the helicopter after they winched me up).

and this fag(bum) is like getting deported out of like 6 countries and jailed everywhere,for being a dumb ass hippie homo..patheitc! what a looooser.stay out of the states u dumb hippy faggot,

Actually I have only been deported from the one country, in fact they called it denied entry. From what I know I was deported because I worked on a tourist visa, but then again I did have dreadlocks and was going back to the States from Colombia at the time. The US immigration officer interviewing me and making the decision whether I would be let me in or not reminded me a lot of you. So I could have been deported for being a dumb ass hippie homo.

go back to your own loser fag country,and get on new zealand welfare..u damn d*cksucker!

You must have had a bad experience visiting my “loser fag country”, next time you’re there let me know and I’d be happy to show you a good time.

Unfortunately my goal is to live and work in every continent of the world before 30, so welfare is out of the question. But great idea, maybe I could set myself a new goal “to live and get welfare in every continent before 40”.

some people are better off dead…for god’s sake.cut off your fag dreadlocks,get a haircut and a job u whiny little bitch.

You will be happy to know that I have cut my dreadlocks off. In fact they are still in a plastic bag in my bed-side cabinet (yes that is definitely worthy of hassle), would you like me to send you one? I also have a job. By any chance mean mother f are you a fan of the American country music singer Billy Ray Sirus? If not I think you would like his 90’s smash hit “get a haircut and get a real job”. Maybe you could come out with your own version of the song “get a haircut and get a real job you whiny little bitch f**king hippy fag!”

oh yeah,and could someone be critically injured by falling 5 meters??

Yep. You should try it.

he prob wanted someone to feel sorry for his dumb ass,and get a free bl*wjob in the f*g hospital.

There’s no such thing as “free”.

this guy is so weak..no wonder the u.s.immigration wouldnt let his mangy looking ass into the states..f*cking fag!

Mean mother f of course I’m weak, look what I have to work with!

f**k off.go die hippie rebel!

Another thing I would like to clarify with you mean mother f is that as well as not being a homo sexual I’m also not a hippy. I enjoy showering on a regular basis, I’m not attracted to hairy women, I don’t make jewellery, I don’t own any tie die clothing and these days I actually live in a fixed address and pay taxes………………and if you still have any doubts, at present I work for a mining company. But like your friends at US immigration I could see how you came to this conclusion because at the time of writing the NZ accident page I did have dreadlocks.

maybe they’ll bury his rotten corpse on sum fag mountain  in new zealand..here lies willy wanker,cause of death stupidity.

Haha, that’s great mean mother f, I actually sincerely laughed out loud with that one, I love it, “here lies willy wanker, cause of death stupidity”, GOLD, and great alliteration with the Willy Wanker.

HA,this is the LAMEST story i have ever wasted even 1 min to read on the freakin’ net. i hope more ppl bag on him,and make fun of him.this dude’s a  loser 4 real.

Thank you for capitalising LAMEST, as I was under the impression from the rest of your comment that you liked the story.

One last thing mean mother f, I would like to apologise for wasting 1 min of your time by reading my blog, but I would like to thank you for taking 2 mins out of your day to write the comment.

Oh yeah one other thing, I have had to come up with a new catergory for this blog post.

Nothing but love, Hap

Cycling video inspiration

Howdy folks,

These days I try to squeeze in as much inspiration for Africa as I possibly can. When I’m eating my breakfast, lunch and dinner I’m on twitter following the cycling community or reading blogs of people cycling Africa or the world (Check out Peters big Africa cycle from London to Cape town, Peter pictured below). I’m also always on ted.com watching presentations or watching expedition related videos.

The video below is from Tom Allen, who with his mate Andrew Welch are attempting to circumnavigate the globe by mountain bike (check out Tom’s website) . In my early days of planning my Final Continent Expedition, Tom like Peter above and everybody else in the cycle touring world were super supportive and helpful in answering my questions. The great thing about the cycle touring community is there is no pretentiousness, everybody that started cycle touring were once cycle expedition virgins and they don’t try to hide it. Unlike other sports/recreations they embrace it and offer nothing but encouragement and support for people looking to get into it.

General bike touring info sites that I find great and have offered me support and answered my questions; www.travellingtwo.com and www.worldbiking.info

Ok, the reason I did this post, check out Tom and Andy’s 6 minute video of their 1000km mountain bike through remote Mongolia,

Enough from me, I’m back to applying for the Hillary Expedition Grant that is due this Friday. Ciao