Somebody needs a hug (WARNING: contains explicit language)

19 Oct

Usually people that I don’t know email me or leave a comment on my blog, the majority of which are supportive. But last week I received the comment below. I couldn’t help but laugh whilst reading it, it was so full of hate and anger that I feared for the life of his persons cat, this person who calls themself mean mother f. The comment was left on my New Zealand accident page, the page I wrote at the end of 2007 when I found myself deported from the States (where Mandy was) and restricted to being horizontal after falling 5 metres impacting on my spine, leaving me with a compression fracture of one of my vertebrae (this is when the violin kicks in). Let’s just say I wasn’t in the chirpiest of moods, but if you think I wasn’t in the chirpiest of moods read mean mother f’s comment (I started to put * in bad words that flagged it):

this guy is a f**king stoopid ass f*g! he looked like a dummy in a bag,on that stoopid strecther! and ever dumber the heli was airlifting his dead body,and that also looked retarded! how bout getting him inside the stupid chopper? duhhhh…and this fag(bum) is like getting deported out of like 6 countries and jailed everywhere,for being a dumb ass hippie homo..patheitc! what a looooser.stay out of the states u dumb hippy faggot, f**k,and go back to your own loser fag country,and get on new zealand welfare..u damn d*cksucker! this guy is a professional f**king vicitim! some people are better off dead…for god’s sake.cut off your fag dreadlocks,get a haircut and a job u whiny little bitch. oh yeah,and could someone be critically injured by falling 5 meters?? what a pussy fag! he prob wanted someone to feel sorry for his dumb ass,and get a free b*owjob in the fag hospital.this guy is so weak..no wonder the u.s.immigration wouldnt let his mangy looking ass into the states..f*cking fag!
f**k off.go die hippie rebel! maybe they’ll bury his rotten corpse on sum fag mountain  in new zealand..here lies willy wanker,cause of death stupidity.

HA,this is the LAMEST story i have ever wasted even 1 min to read on the freakin’ net. i hope more ppl bag on him,and make fun of him.this dude’s a  loser 4 real.

oh well…!

OK, since mean mother f took the time out of his day to comment it’s only fair I take the time out of mine to personally reply.

this guy is a f**king stoopid ass f*g!

That’s a bit rough mate, insulting gay men. I actually have a girlfriend so you will have to change that to a stupid ass hetrosexual.


he looked like a dummy in a bag,on that stoopid strecther! and ever dumber the heli was airlifting his dead body,and that also looked retarded! how bout getting him inside the stupid chopper? duhhhh…

Sorry, I will try and look better next time, I wasn’t really thinking about how I looked at the time, I was trying get my head around the fact that there was a good chance I wouldn’t walk again (although that sounds a bit stupid now that I’m walking, and even running). I will also pass on your advice to the rescue crew on how to air lift a spinal victim. Which by the way, the reason I was outside the heli (helicopter) was because they were unable to land it in the dense bush due to the things on top of the helicopter called rotors (I assume you already know this). The only way they could get to me was to winch me up and then into the helicopter (I’m pictured below in the helicopter after they winched me up).


and this fag(bum) is like getting deported out of like 6 countries and jailed everywhere,for being a dumb ass hippie homo..patheitc! what a looooser.stay out of the states u dumb hippy faggot,

Actually I have only been deported from the one country, in fact they called it denied entry. From what I know I was deported because I worked on a tourist visa, but then again I did have dreadlocks and was going back to the States from Colombia at the time. The US immigration officer interviewing me and making the decision whether I would be let me in or not reminded me a lot of you. So I could have been deported for being a dumb ass hippie homo.

go back to your own loser fag country,and get on new zealand welfare..u damn d*cksucker!

You must have had a bad experience visiting my “loser fag country”, next time you’re there let me know and I’d be happy to show you a good time.

Unfortunately my goal is to live and work in every continent of the world before 30, so welfare is out of the question. But great idea, maybe I could set myself a new goal “to live and get welfare in every continent before 40”.

some people are better off dead…for god’s sake.cut off your fag dreadlocks,get a haircut and a job u whiny little bitch.

You will be happy to know that I have cut my dreadlocks off. In fact they are still in a plastic bag in my bed-side cabinet (yes that is definitely worthy of hassle), would you like me to send you one? I also have a job. By any chance mean mother f are you a fan of the American country music singer Billy Ray Sirus? If not I think you would like his 90’s smash hit “get a haircut and get a real job”. Maybe you could come out with your own version of the song “get a haircut and get a real job you whiny little bitch f**king hippy fag!”


oh yeah,and could someone be critically injured by falling 5 meters??

Yep. You should try it.

he prob wanted someone to feel sorry for his dumb ass,and get a free bl*wjob in the f*g hospital.

There’s no such thing as “free”.

this guy is so weak..no wonder the u.s.immigration wouldnt let his mangy looking ass into the states..f*cking fag!

Mean mother f of course I’m weak, look what I have to work with!


f**k off.go die hippie rebel!

Another thing I would like to clarify with you mean mother f is that as well as not being a homo sexual I’m also not a hippy. I enjoy showering on a regular basis, I’m not attracted to hairy women, I don’t make jewellery, I don’t own any tie die clothing and these days I actually live in a fixed address and pay taxes………………and if you still have any doubts, at present I work for a mining company. But like your friends at US immigration I could see how you came to this conclusion because at the time of writing the NZ accident page I did have dreadlocks.

maybe they’ll bury his rotten corpse on sum fag mountain  in new zealand..here lies willy wanker,cause of death stupidity.

Haha, that’s great mean mother f, I actually sincerely laughed out loud with that one, I love it, “here lies willy wanker, cause of death stupidity”, GOLD, and great alliteration with the Willy Wanker.

HA,this is the LAMEST story i have ever wasted even 1 min to read on the freakin’ net. i hope more ppl bag on him,and make fun of him.this dude’s a  loser 4 real.

Thank you for capitalising LAMEST, as I was under the impression from the rest of your comment that you liked the story.

One last thing mean mother f, I would like to apologise for wasting 1 min of your time by reading my blog, but I would like to thank you for taking 2 mins out of your day to write the comment.

Oh yeah one other thing, I have had to come up with a new catergory for this blog post.

Nothing but love, Hap

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14 Responses to “Somebody needs a hug (WARNING: contains explicit language)”

  1. tofa October 19, 2010 at 8:42 pm #

    hahahahahahaha!!!!! this is bloody amazing! hahahahhahahaha!!!!!

  2. brendan October 19, 2010 at 10:31 pm #

    Jeez, that is hilarious!

  3. Mike October 19, 2010 at 10:36 pm #

    Hahaha, hysterical post. I think one of the great internet trolls stumbled on your website! He must have mistaken your blog post for a Youtube video, where the only form of comment allowed is one of complete bigotry and shame. How lucky are you?!

    Hope all is well buddy.

    Mike

  4. Lorne Henkel October 19, 2010 at 11:28 pm #

    Haha, Just so this Douche Nozzle (Mean mother f) knows the pussy hippie he’s talking about came to Canada and worked his ass off on the Canadian Oil rigs…. not really hippie work. Hap made a hell of a hand and we were all sad to see him leave. Also you sure as hell can die from a 5m fall you mindless sack of spunk. Thats why in most industries any one working above 3m must wear fall protection… but you probably don’t need to know that for flippin burgers do ya Mean mother f……

  5. Geoff October 20, 2010 at 2:05 am #

    Hap
    Great reply to this dickwacker.Its a shame his parents didnt practice birth control!
    Keep on with the mission Bro.
    cheerz
    G

    • Booty October 20, 2010 at 5:24 am #

      Love your work Hap! Fantastic reply.

      Big ups,
      B

  6. Paul Matthews October 20, 2010 at 3:31 am #

    Mate, that has to be one of the funniest blog posts I have ever read! I laughed heartily here: But great idea, maybe I could set myself a new goal “to live and get welfare in every continent before 40″. Awesome!

    I also thought the Willy Wanker thing was a slice of genius, I really didn’t think the wee bugger had it in him after reading the rest of his comment.

    I think you should write a thank-you note to this guy for the inspiration he provided you for this post. It’s a real gem, Hap.

  7. Rasta October 20, 2010 at 4:03 am #

    haha bro,

    that reply is the funniest thing you’ve done since pouring that bin full of stuff on the arana newbies

  8. Jennifer Wilson October 20, 2010 at 4:51 am #

    Mark, (as an Auntie I can use the name I kmow you by) and know you well I do. I am so shocked to read that there are wankers out there who could spend the time to write such rubbish. He (or she) doesn’t know the caring clever boy that we do, and the anquish suffered by our family after your accident. Keep on keeping on as I know you will. Al the best to you and Mandy. Pehaps the US doesn’t deseve you, hoopefully they have this wanker

    Jennifer

  9. Hap October 20, 2010 at 3:36 pm #

    Hey all, cheers for the POSITIVE comments, I’m not too sure if mean mother f would enjoy them so much.

    Tofa – cheers bro, when you back this side of the world big fella?

    Brendan – You’re hilarious!

    Mike – yeah all good mate, I defo lucky with that comment, I haven’t had a laugh from a comment like that in………………….never. Hope all well for you.

    Lorne – Mr Henkel, cheers for the words. I was just thinking the other day about the work on the rigs, and the time I nearly overflowed the vessel and sent foam out the flare stack, I think I was on with Jodi, I got a good bollicking! Winter is coming for you, I will be thinking of you in the -40’s while I’m on the beach!

    Geoffrey, classic g.

    Booty – Love your work big fella (not very original reply from me considering your said the same…ummm)

    Barney – Not too sure how you will go getting welfare in Quito. Will catch up on Skype when i’m back in Melbs.

    Rasta – I forgot about that! Not as funny as you in your sound’s trackies!

    Aunty Jen – yeah it wasn’t much fun for the family aye? Definitely surprising how much time people spend writing crap on the net. Hope you and Ian well.

  10. Haze October 20, 2010 at 6:53 pm #

    Hap,

    You are classic mate. Gave me and Codes a good old laugh.

    Peace and love you crazy hippy

    xx

    • Hap October 20, 2010 at 7:47 pm #

      glad i could give ya’s a laugh.

      Since it’s you calling me a crazy hippy, i kinda like it.

      Hanging out to hear more of your music……………………bring it on………….oh and NZ for xmas, pumped!

      NBL Hap

  11. dave October 25, 2010 at 6:38 am #

    hahahaha. i love it

    ps. u r a hippie

    • Hap October 25, 2010 at 3:44 pm #

      Dave,

      I definitely tick some of the boxes!

      PS don’t you have a rainbow tattoo?

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