Burning ring of fire

20 Jul

You know the song by Johnie Cash? Well I´m pretty sure I found out last weekend how he came about the title. Maybe it was from eating too much Mexican food or maybe it was from his time in prison, or maybe he had the same experience I had.

streets of El Bolson

Last weekend we did a weekend trip to El Bolson, a picturesque little town nestled in a valley between towering mountains, 2 hours from Bariloche. It´s known for its artistic community, weekend market and micro-brewed beers. Anyway, read the guide book if you want to learn more about El Bolson, back to my story.

cheapest room we could find still had a view

We got a hotel room for the night with just another amazing view over the mountains, and a bathroom with a bidet (one of those french toilet looking things that you sit on it squirts water and cleans you).

After living in Thailand, I got use to use to squirting with water instead of wiping with paper after doing number 2´s. I actually grew to prefer the squirting. So I didn´t need encouraging to try out the bidet, and I swear I chose the room because of the view and not because it had a bidet.

My maiden bidet voyage started off well. I sat down and turned on both the hot and cold taps, sending a gravity defying canon of cleansing water into my not so clean regions. The water slowly warmed up and I must say it was quite satisfying, I felt like a king on his throne, I felt like I had made it in life. I was thinking that when or if I ever build a house I will get a bidet, or maybe I´ll just pack one in back pack.

My bidet dreams were short lived as Mandy shouted from the room ¨what are you doing in there, hurry up”. In my haste I turned off the cold tap first, not really thinking anything of it. Next thing I know it feels like a city of fire ants have crawled up my bum and lit a fire because the sun isn´t shining. Oh my god!

So Hap´s travel tip #102, when using a bidet, to avoid 3rd degree anal burns, turn off the hot tap first.

2 Responses to “Burning ring of fire”

  1. Lynn Cameron at 4:17 am #

    That could only happen to YOU Hap.
    All good here

  2. Hap at 4:47 am #

    good stuff muz, i will try ringing now.
    nbl hap

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